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Introspection So one of my very oldest friends wrote me out of the blue today. Just a total surprise. I bet I haven't seen her in about 10 years, if that. I guess there's nothing time doesn't touch and change in all sorts of ways, but in my mind she's still her 13 year old, 6th grade self. Long hair and fluffy bangs, sporting a backpack and middle school gossip. So she writes me using "u" for "you" instead of dotting her i's with hearts and tells of a college degree and a married younger sister with a baby (who still remains a snaggle toothed 6 year old kindergartener in memory). So somehow I hesitate to write right away, part in fear of losing the memories of childhood to fresh realities of now, and how life has thrown curves and changes of both good and bad variety. I guess a bigger part is mostly the "high school reunion" mindset, those things I feel I should do but haven't yet. I need to weigh 115 lbs. I should have a job and a college education. I should live on my own and be successful instead of once in a while feeling like I'm not. It's one of those "look at me and what I've accomplished, I'm so successful" things. But right now I'm plus sized with one college class completed and I have applications in at various hospitals. I still live at home. I don't think I've done so bad so far but it's still one of those mental things I guess some people have to deal with. |