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mixed emotions on one page Tomorrow I have another date with my guy, but I'm sort of wary since I haven't heard anything since Sunday Morning. Most likely he's just been busy. I'm going to try my best to make it, but my body has turned against me, as it is once again a new month. I might have to take pain pills, but I'll get there. I am scheduling a doctors appointment for myself sometime during the beginning of next week. The glucophage has worked wonders jump starting my monthly pain (as previously bitched about above) and clearing up my skin, but the excess hair growth that goes along with polycystic ovary syndrome is not cooperating. I'll either need a hormone pill or birth control. I'm not worried about it. It'll all be taken care of eventually. We hosted our neighbors this evening in our apartment while they looked through my brothers school fundraiser catalog. (I'm getting some really pretty recycled paper giftwrap and a little thing that cuts ribbons into smaller more decorative bows. It is a kickass contraption.) They're really nice, and we have plans to do more stuff together in the future, which I'm looking forward to. Good people. It has been raining steadily here for the last week and a half. The skies are constantly gray, the ground is squishy and completely saturated so it's flooding low lying areas. It used to be that rain completely depressed me to the point of not wanting to get out of bed. This morning I woke up and realized that I was happy. Completely, unreasonably happy. I even liked walking through the rain and watching it splash into the puddles on the ground. This is huge for me. I don't know what happened, but I am so glad it did. Mom had her radiology doctors appointment today, and once again they acted like her brain tumors were nothing serious and just sort of laughed off her lengthening list of alarm-causing ailments. (Run-on sentence, so sue me.) That is the most frustrating thing, for her to be crying and the doctor to act like her being scared and getting sicker again doesn't matter. What is fucking wrong with these doctors?? Don't they care about their patients anymore? Because they certainly don't seem to in my eyes. All these doctors should have to see at least once in their life with what it's like to be really sick and really scared and not be taken seriously. Maybe they would gain back their humanity, because somewhere along the way they lost it. And that is one of the saddest things in the world. In other, better news, my brother is doing fabulously in school for the first time in a long time. He is doing so well with his homework. He had to study spelling words this evening and how he just flew through them blew me away. He got all of them right without hesitating once. I'm so proud of him. |